On Not Letting the Past Affect Your Present

Although the song is still everywhere from the movie Frozen, I still sometimes struggle with the concept of “Let It Go.” It’s hard to say what exactly I might harbor from the past, but the feelings are typically based in disappointment or sadness about how a situation went down. From time to time, I will find myself in the present day being emotionally affected by something that happened 5+ years ago. Does anyone else have this happen to them? How do you help yourself “let it go?” I’ve been thinking on this recently after spending a weekend in another city.

Just about a month ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop in Kansas City. It was Easter Sunday, and I was honestly surprised at how busy Country Club Plaza was. I thought about shopping with the masses, but knew that I had a post due at midnight for my blog. I opted to dip into the Plaza’s Kaldi’s for a coffee and snack. Although Kaldi’s is a local company in my lovely home of Saint Louis, and makes very good coffee, I have tended to avoid it. During my early college days, I worked for a small, independently-owned coffee shop in the heart of Saint Louis. Situated next to a prominent university, we had not only our regulars, but mass numbers of students in and out the doors every day.

I took my job very seriously, and loved what I did. I learned to make a damn good cappuccino, and often practiced latte art. Then my little shop was sold to Kaldi’s, and things quickly changed. Although the former owner had asked that his employees be allowed to keep their jobs, in approximately six months new hires were being brought in without warning. One day, a young man I had never seen before just marched behind the counter without a word, and when I tried to stop him, he said, “What? I work here.” Even though I had already worked at the shop for two years, and could do everything that Kaldi’s training program entailed, I was suddenly no longer allowed to touch my beloved espresso machine until I had formerly trained at their roasterie.

Just after my senior year of college began (aka a great time to be unemployed), the location “let me go.” I received a voicemail from the then-manager, asking me to call him back. I did as soon as I received the message, but he did not answer. I also, at that time, hadn’t been put on the schedule for the next week, but I’d taken an approved weekend off so I thought it was just a scheduling mishap. I didn’t hear back all day from the manager, so I walked my butt in there the next day to see what was going on. Boy do I remember the look on his face! Guess he hadn’t expected to have to fire someone in person.

For a long time after the takeover, I was bitter. I felt betrayed and quite surprised at how everything was handled. There is much more to this story than I have time to write, but here’s the moral: After all these years, I know that I cannot hold any of the company’s employees responsible for my loss of employment or slight humiliation. So after a many-year hiatus, I spent nearly five hours hanging out in a Kaldi’s. It felt good and tasted good, too! I cannot let the past affect my present or future, and I can start in small ways. Even if it means just grabbing a coffee to go sometime.

The year of 2015 has already become the year of making the best “me.” I am always learning new ways to better myself and improve my attitude, and this experience taught me a valuable lesson. I cannot let the past dictate how I feel about the present. I would recommend that anyone who struggles with “letting it go” think on that. Are you still allowing something or someone from your past affect you? Have you ever dealt with something like it, and overcome it? I’d love to hear about it!